The good news? You’re not stuck in that loop. If you’re feeling less desire, more discomfort, or wondering where your libido went, you’re far from alone-50–70% of menopausal women experience painful sex. But that doesn’t mean you have to suffer in silence.
Sex during menopause doesn’t have to be painful. With the right tools, habits, and natural support, you can break the cycle, ease your symptoms, and reconnect with pleasure. Let’s dive into what’s happening to your body-and the empowering, non-hormonal solutions that can help you feel good again.
Why Sex Hurts During Menopause
The Science Behind the Discomfort
If sex feels like sandpaper or you’re avoiding it altogether, blame biology – not your body. The drop in estrogen during menopause causes more than just hot flashes and mood swings. For many women, it leads to vaginal dryness, thinning of vaginal tissues, pelvic floor dysfunction (muscles become too tight or too weak) and nerve sensitivity due to lower blood flow – all of which can make sex feel painful, irritating, or even impossible.
And it’s not just physical. Emotional changes like anxiety, stress, and a dip in confidence can make your body tense up, further contributing to discomfort. If you’ve ever braced yourself during sex instead of relaxing into it, you know exactly what I mean.
The takeaway? Sex during menopause is impacted by both body and mind but both are treatable. And no, you don’t need hormones or prescriptions to get relief.
Natural Ways to Enhance Pleasure
Even the best tools work better when paired with healthy daily habits. Here are some powerful, natural ways to support better sex during menopause:
Lube Is Non-Negotiable
When estrogen dips during menopause, vaginal tissues become thinner, less elastic, and produce less natural lubrication. That’s where a quality, body-safe lubricant becomes a game-changer.
For mild to moderate dryness, choose a water-based lubrican with added moisturizers, ideally fragrance-and alcohol free. For severe dryness, painful sex, and longer-lasting glide, choose a hypoallergenic, silicone-based lubricant for lasting glide without irritation. Make sure it’s free from glycerin, parabens, and harsh chemicals that can cause irritation in sensitive menopausal tissues.
Pro tip: We love the Good Clean Love Almost Naked water-based lube ($12.09) and the Uberlube silicone-based lube ($32.00), ranked as the top silicon-based lube by Women’s Health.
Kegels for the Win (and other Pelvic Floor Care Solutions)
Just 5 minutes of pelvic floor exercises a day can boost circulation, improve sensation, and help prevent leaks. If you’re looking for solutions that go beyond “just use lube,” these tech-forward (and totally non-invasive) options can make a real difference.
1. Red Light Therapy for Tissue Repair
Joylux vFit | $400
This device, which Halle Berry swears by, uses gentle red light to stimulate collagen, improve blood flow, and support moisture in your intimate tissues. Think of it as a “facial” for your vagina-without the awkward spa visit.
Just 10–15 minutes a day can help restore comfort and elasticity, making sex during menopause feel natural again. I started using mine every other morning while sipping coffee and scrolling Instagram. It’s weirdly empowering.
2. For You: Pelvic Floor Power-Ups
Perifit Care+ | $179
If you’re looking for more bang for your buck,Perifit Care+ is a smart Kegel trainer that turns your pelvic workouts into a game (literally). Just insert, connect to the app, and control video games with your muscles.
If you’re dealing with dryness, tightness, or just want to feel more in control, Perifit can be a helpful tool for strengthening your pelvic floor. It turns a typically overlooked part of your wellness routine into something engaging and effective-because taking care of your pelvic health doesn’t have to be boring.
3. Vaginal Dilators for Gentle Reconditioning
Bodyotics Pelvic Floor Muscle Dilator Set | $45.90
If sex feels like hitting a wall, dilators are your new best friend. These medical-grade silicone tools work by gently stretching the vaginal canal over time, restoring comfort and flexibility at your pace.
It’s like physical therapy for intimacy-gradual, consistent, and incredibly effective. You’re in control the whole time, which helps rebuild trust with your own body. Pro tip: Pair it with lube and use while watching TV-consistency is key!
4. Pelvic Wand for Muscle Relaxation
IntimateRose Hot/Cold Pelvic Wand | $49.99
Tension in the pelvic floor is a huge, hidden culprit in menopausal pain. This wand gives you the ability to target tight spots, soothe inflammation, and relax muscles with heat or cold therapy.
I personally love using the warm setting on low-stress days and the cold one after long hours at my desk. Either way, it feels like a little act of self-love.
5. For Couples: Wearables to Ease Pressure
Sex during menopause isn’t just about your comfort-it’s about connection, too. Menopause is no walk in the park-but at least now, he gets to do the heavy lifting. These wearables are designed to ease discomfort and put him in charge – in a good way. After all, menopause is a team sport (check out our comprehensive guide to supporting your partner during menopause)
Ohnut Depth-Limiting Rings | $70.00
Ohnut is a soft, adjustable buffer worn by your partner to control penetration depth-so you can stay relaxed and in the moment.
Tor2 | $69.76
LELO Tor2 is a vibrating pleasure ring designed to increase sensation for both partners, adding extra stimulation and connection.
Eat for Intimacy
Foods rich in Omega-3s (such as flaxseed and salmon), hydrating fruits and veggies, and phytoestrogens (like soy and lentils) help balance your body naturally.
Pro tip: And yes, drink your water-dry tissues are less elastic.
Mindfulness & Sensual Awareness
Stress kills libido. Learning how to tune back into your body with breathwork, meditation, or a device like Muse 2 (a brain-sensing headband that helps you chill out) can be a game-changer. I was shocked at how much more relaxed-and open-I felt after five days of just five minutes of breathing practice. Sometimes, the biggest shift is mental.
Pro tip: Use the muse 2 guided meditation headband with real-time feedback.
Communication is Key
If you’ve been gritting your teeth through painful sex and hoping your partner doesn’t notice-stop. A short, honest conversation can spark so much understanding.
Let them know what’s changed and what you’d like to try. Share your excitement about using something like the Ohnut Depth-Limiting Rings – it might surprise you how eager they are to help.
Pro tip: Say what hurts, try “Let’s go Slower” or “This angle feels better”
“Start Tonight” Action Plan
Your Step-by-Step Roadmap
If this all feels overwhelming, start simple. Pick one product + one natural fix to start:
- Example 1: Use the vFit + apply lube before bed.
- Example 2: Try the pelvic wand + 5 minutes of deep breathing.
And most importantly: give yourself grace. Pleasure after menopause is a journey-not a race.
Pro tip: Schedule sex for when your energy is highest (for many women: morning > late-night exhaustion).
Pain isn’t inevitable. You have more options than ever before. From red light therapy and wearable intimacy aids to breathwork and diet-there are countless ways to make sex during menopause feel good again. Your future self (and your partner) will thank you.
Ready to feel good again?
Explore our full collection of menopause intimacy solutions and start reclaiming your pleasure today.
]]>The Limitations of Kegel Exercises
Effective Pelvic Floor Workout Exercises Beyond Kegels for Strength and Stability
Deep squats are excellent for engaging the pelvic floor while also working the glutes, hips, and core. They help strengthen the lower body while supporting pelvic floor activation. To perform a deep squat, stand with your feet slightly wider than hip-width apart, lower yourself into a squat position, and ensure you’re lifting your pelvic floor muscles as you rise. Aim for 2–3 sets of 10–15 reps per day for a balanced combination of strength and flexibility.
2. Glute Bridge (Bridge Pose)
This exercise strengthens the glutes and supports the pelvic floor muscles. Lie on your back, bend your knees, and lift your hips while engaging your core and pelvic floor. Hold the position for a couple of seconds before lowering. For best results, perform 2–3 sets of 10–12 reps daily to enhance stability in your lower body.
3. Happy Baby Pose
This relaxing yoga pose helps stretch and release tension in the pelvic floor. Lie on your back, grab your feet or ankles, and gently rock side to side. Hold the pose for 30–60 seconds and repeat 2–3 times to balance strengthening exercises and promote flexibility in your pelvic floor workout.
4. Bird Dog Exercise
The Bird Dog exercise improves core stability while engaging the pelvic floor muscles. It’s particularly effective for building awareness of how to activate the pelvic floor while stabilizing the spine, making it a valuable addition to your pelvic floor workout routine. Start on all fours, extend one arm and the opposite leg simultaneously, engage your core and pelvic floor as you hold the position for 5-10 seconds. Alternate sides for 2 sets of 8–10 reps per side to strengthen the connection between your core and pelvic muscles.
5. Diaphragmatic Breathing
Deep belly breathing isn’t just relaxing—it’s also a key way to connect with your pelvic floor through your diaphragm. Incorporating diaphragmatic breathing into your pelvic floor workout helps promote relaxation and proper muscle coordination. To do this, take slow, deep breaths, ensuring that your belly expands fully. Practice 10–15 deep breaths in a quiet space, 1–2 times daily, to enhance muscle coordination and relaxation.
Tips for Creating a Balanced Pelvic Floor Workout Routine
To maximize the benefits of your pelvic floor workout, it’s important to maintain a balance between strength-building and relaxation exercises. Overworking the pelvic floor muscles can lead to further tension, so incorporating a mix of stretching, strengthening, and breathing exercises is key. Consider working with a pelvic health professional if you’re unsure which exercises are best suited to your needs. A well-rounded pelvic floor workout—including deep squats, glute bridges, and bird dogs—offers a balanced approach to pelvic health. By incorporating these exercises, you can strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, reduce discomfort, and improve overall well-being
Looking to enhance your pelvic floor workout with effective tools? Check out our curated selection of pelvic health products designed to support your journey toward a stronger, healthier pelvic floor.
]]>Luckily, we’ve done the hard work for you. We researched four popular pelvic floor exercisers: the Joylux vFit Gold Set, the Pelvic Floor Exerciser with App by Perifit, the Clea Pelvic Floor Muscle Trainer Set, and the IntimateRose Vibrating Pelvic Wand. Each of these devices offers unique benefits tailored to various needs and budgets.
In this guide, we’ll break down what makes each product stand out, highlighting their features, pros, and cons, to help you make the best decision for your personal wellness journey. Whether you’re after high-tech gamified tools or beginner-friendly options, there’s something here for everyone. Read on to find the perfect pelvic floor exerciser for you!
1. Joylux vFit Gold Set | The Ferrari of Pelvic Floor Exercisers
Pros
- Easy to use interface
- Effective for menopausal women
- Improves natural hydration
- Promotes elasticity
- Professional input
- Comes with Photonic Gel
Cons
- High cost
- No specific safety certifications
- Connectivity issues
- Learning curve for setup
- LED lights may fail
Joylux vFit Device and Photonic Gel Set | $400
When it comes to pelvic floor health, the Joylux vFit set stands out for its innovative use of red LED light, heat, and sonic vibration. Designed with menopausal women and new mothers in mind, this pelvic floor exerciser promotes hydration, sensitivity, and overall strength in a straightforward, at-home solution. Its advanced features, including light therapy to improve circulation and collagen production, come at a higher price point, but many women report noticeable improvements in intimate wellness and muscle strength after consistent use. While its intuitive interface makes operation simple, the instructions can be a bit tricky to follow at first—a small hurdle for an otherwise transformative tool. Though the device lacks explicit FDA approval, its design was guided by health professionals to prioritize safety. I found the vFit’s combination of comfort and efficacy worth exploring for anyone seeking to enhance their intimate wellness journey.
2. Perifit Care+ Pelvic Floor Exerciser | Gamified Pelvic Floor Training
Pros
- Affordable pricing
- Interactive app
- Real-time biofeedback
- Engaging exercises
- App reminders
Cons
- Occasional app bugs
- No specific safety certifications
- Connectivity issues
- Limited safety details
- Physical device maintenance
Perifit Care+ Pelvic Floor Exerciser | $179
The Pelvic Floor Exerciser with App by Perifit brings a playful twist to Kegel exercises with its innovative gamified technology. Designed in collaboration with pelvic floor physical therapists, this at-home pelvic solution connects seamlessly via Bluetooth to a smartphone app, letting users control interactive games with their pelvic floor movements. The app not only makes the process fun but also provides real-time feedback and tailored exercise programs to improve bladder control and pelvic strength. At $149, it’s a more affordable option, making it appealing for those looking to enhance their women’s intimate wellness without breaking the bank. While some users report occasional connectivity issues, the device is lightweight, easy to clean, and praised for its simplicity and motivation-boosting approach. If you’ve struggled to stay consistent with traditional pelvic floor exercises, Perifit might just be the engaging solution you need!
3. IntimateRose Vibrating Pelvic Wand | Pelvic Floor Exercisers with Targeted Relief
Pros
- Targeted muscle relief
- Designed by a therapist
- Ten vibration modes
- Includes helpful resources
- High user engagement
Cons
- Issues with vibration function
- Charging system problems
- Requires precise application
- Higher effort to use
- No specific safety certifications
IntimateRose Vibrating Pelvic Wand | $45.90
The IntimateRose Vibrating Pelvic Wand offers a unique approach to addressing pelvic muscle pain and tension. Designed by a Doctor of Pelvic Physical Therapy, this ergonomic wand features ten vibration modes to enhance blood flow and provide targeted relief to deep pelvic floor muscles. Crafted from smooth, BPA-free, and latex-free silicone, it’s ideal for women with sensitivities or allergies. Priced at $49.99, it provides excellent value, combining affordability with effectiveness. The wand also comes with access to instructional videos and articles, making it a comprehensive tool for improving pelvic floor health. While some users report durability issues with the vibration function, the overwhelmingly positive feedback highlights its ability to ease tension and support women’s intimate wellness during menopause or other life stages. If you’re seeking a comfortable, affordable, and effective solution, the IntimateRose Wand is a great option to consider.
4. Clea Pelvic Floor Muscle Trainer | Beginner-Friendly Option for Pelvic Floor Exercisers
Pros
- Four different weights
- Includes exercise guides
- Comfortable silicone material
- Easy to clean
- Beginner-friendly
Cons
- No specific safety certifications
- Issues with packaging
- May not suit advanced users
- Limited user reviews
- No vibration feature
Clea Pelvic Floor Muscle Trainer Set | $42
The Clea Pelvic Floor Muscle Trainer Set offers a straightforward and accessible way to enhance pelvic floor health, particularly for beginners. This non-electrical set includes four kegel weights made from smooth, BPA-free, medical-grade silicone, providing both comfort and safety during use. With its gradual weight progression, users can start at a manageable level and build strength over time. At $42, it’s a budget-friendly option that doesn’t compromise on quality. The set also features a QR code linking to helpful exercise guides and videos, making it simple to incorporate into daily routines. Many users highlight its effectiveness in improving bladder control and pelvic strength, praising the soft, ergonomic design. While the set has fewer reviews compared to other devices, feedback remains positive overall, with only occasional mentions of packaging issues. If you’re seeking an easy-to-use, affordable, and reliable pelvic floor exerciser, the Clea set is worth considering.
The Clear Winner: Why Perifit Stands Out
After testing and ranking the top pelvic floor exercisers, the Perifit Care+ Pelvic Floor Exerciser emerges as the standout choice. Combining affordability, innovation, and effectiveness, Perifit offers a gamified experience that turns pelvic floor exercises into an engaging, motivating activity. Unlike traditional tools, Perifit’s app-driven approach provides real-time biofeedback and personalized training plans, making it suitable for beginners and experienced users alike. It scored top marks across all categories, offering exceptional value for money while maintaining a lightweight, easy-to-clean design. Whether you’re navigating postpartum recovery or enhancing your pelvic health, Perifit’s fun, effective, and interactive method sets it apart from the competition. While others might offer unique features like vibration or light therapy, Perifit excels in delivering long-term results with an engaging twist. Ultimately, if you’re looking for a pelvic floor exerciser that’s both affordable and effective, the Perifit is your perfect match. Ready to level up your wellness? This game-changing device has you covered.
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